THE COVID MONTHS | REFLECTIONS ON WORKING IN A COVID VACCINE CENTRE
Joanne Scougall an experienced health care professional and trainee counsellor shares her deeply personal experiences.
On my first day of working at the Covid Vaccine Centre I remember feeling both nervous and excited. I had the opportunity to work there because as well as being a trainee counsellor at Northern Guild, I have worked as a health care professional for just under 20 years. I, like so many during this pandemic, had worked predominately from home and so the opportunity to work with people in person was extremely appealing. Being able to put any previous nursing skills to good use at this time was obviously very helpful for others but I also knew that I would benefit hugely from the real contact with people that has been missing for such a long time even if it was from behind PPE.
Once the initial nervousness of being part of a huge team of professionals from all spectrums began to settle, excitement and hope took hold. I felt that after such a difficult time there was the promise of better times ahead, but patience was still very much needed. Teams of staff from various nursing sectors, medical and pharmaceutical professionals, paramedics and the armed forces, as well as the voluntary sector all came together for the collective effort of rolling out the vaccine programme. It was and is the biggest logistical challenge of the NHS to date, and something that I’m sure the many of those who have planned it, from those behind the scenes, to those who deliver the vaccines and equipment, and those on the frontline can be truly proud of. I will always be grateful to and in awe of the exceptional minds of the scientists, researchers as well as the courage of the volunteers who have who have made this unbelievable roll out possible. Their brilliance has cast a bright light in a dark time.
The people that I have met at the vaccination centre are full of gratitude and feel new hope for the future. In the very early days of the programme, the very elderly and vulnerable were first in line. Many had barely left their homes for months, and at times there was a palpable nervousness and fear of being in a building with so many others, that was noisy and busy, and potentially carried risk of the very thing they were trying to protect themselves against. Some were visibly delighted to be out of the house, and in the company of others for a brief time. What certainly did come across, was how grateful people were to all involved, and how hope and often optimism was expressed. Whist often conversations had to be fairly brief for the benefit of getting as many people as possible vaccinated what struck me was just how connected we can be with one another in such a short space of time. Many people talked as they were getting their arms ready for their injection of how difficult life had been for them. Loneliness, isolation, and uncertainty featured in many people’s experiences. As well as the fear of this cruel disease, there was the sense of loss that so many had either personally encountered or knew somebody who had. Despite these feelings, resolve and determination often shine bright, together with kindness. Nothing beats kindness. Often, even when somebody feels isolated themselves and has suffered the loss of feeling connected it is amazing how they can still see the difficulties for other people whose situations are different to theirs. The old expressing compassion for the young at their freedoms being curtailed at what should be the height of the discovery of life. And the young having compassion for the old, and the fears that they may have.
I have noticed in myself how connected I have felt to many of the people I have met and worked with despite the often fleeting nature of this encounter. I have been wondering whether this is due to the lack of feeling connected, because of the pandemic, or whether I am noticing this change in my feelings due to my Northern Guild training. Maybe it is both. Many things that people have said have stayed with me. There has been one meeting in particular that has resonated with me. A lady who very bravely shared her loss and grief in losing her own mother to Covid, as well as being left with debilitating symptoms herself. Fortunately, on this occasion, I was able to spend a little longer with her. The vaccination process had triggered some very raw emotions quite suddenly for her. I do hope that for this lady I was able to integrate my nursing skills with my counselling skills, and help provide the start of an outlet for her to be able to express her feelings. Encounters with other people, however brief, can resonate and have a lasting impact. From a smile that can express compassion and empathy, to a conversation about fears and anxieties, I know we can be impacted as well as impact others.
This whole experience has been a real privilege for me. It has made me more excited and more determined than ever in my counselling journey. No matter how difficult things are for people, hope and gratitude can and do shine brightly now for so many.
JOANNE SCOUGALL