THE COVID MONTHS | IN THE DIRECTORS’ CHAIR

EMILY SUGGETT CHAIR of the BOARD OF DIRECTORS

EMILY SUGGETT talks about life in the Hot Seat

To speak about my role as Chair of Directors at Northern Guild it seems right to go back to where it all began. I have a clear memory of leaving the Jesmond Centre for the first time, my family was waiting for me in the then car park of the Swallow Hotel. As I climbed into the car I beamed as I said “This is it! I have found what I have been looking for! It feels right!” It felt like a momentous occasion. At the time I was a qualified Graphic Designer, working as a Graphic Artist. I loved the team I worked with and the relaxed nature of the work, but I could not escape how unfulfilled I had become.

From 15 years old I had been working towards a life in London employed by a glossy magazine, following in my aunt’s footsteps. The life seemed so glamourous and miles away from a small village upbringing. After completing a week’s work experience for a highly successful magazine I had imagined I would return to the glitzy life of photoshoots, designing attractive magazine spreads and buzzing around on the tube.

Not long after my return from London the sudden loss of a childhood friend changed the goals I had set for myself. I found a job locally in a design studio and worked in a supportive team, but I would sit in front of the monitor, using the latest Mac with the newest design software and feel dissatisfied. As beautiful as the Mac computers were there was no communication coming back to me. Friends started to have children and I would find myself sitting with the children, playing, colouring in, and talking whilst the parents would take the opportunity to take care of chores. The plan was never to babysit the children it was just where I always ended up. Afterwards the parents would ask me things like,  “how did you find out that had happened at school today? I had no idea she was feeling like that”.

Looking for a new career began, and I spent evenings and weekends trawling through the internet. I met with a kind woman at a university, who was there to offer career advice, I left with a heavy heart as none of the job roles she described spoke to the unfulfilled part of me. Each time I met with another university I would describe how I wanted to help children and they would go on to talk about teaching and social work and I would leave feeling disheartened.

Then one evening as I sat trawling the internet again, I was somehow led to the Northern Guild, I think at the time the website was green. A glimmer of hope returned. What I was reading seemed to be exactly what I had been searching for. Soon enough I was sat in the Guild Hall on the brown velvet sofa listening to Jennie McNamara speak about counselling and psychotherapy, I was mesmerised and that part of me that had felt deadened for so long was beginning to spark. Instead of leaving yet another meeting feeling heavy and disappointed I left knowing I had found the career I had been seeking. Back then I did not really know about intuition, but nevertheless it was leading the way.

Training began and it was terrifying, comforting and fascinating all in one. Christine and Jennie were inspirational, I had never seen people reach out to others like they did, the empathy, care, and strength they displayed was palpable and it moved me to the core of my being. The rest of team displayed the same level of interest and investment and I continued to be transformed every time I   witnessed or experienced intimacy. Working therapeutically with children and young people came naturally, I felt privileged to be witness to each story I heard or seen played out in the sand, dolls house or drawings. No longer was I sat staring at a computer screen feeling dissatisfied, I was now part of therapeutic relationships, where communication between both parties is always flowing, I could feel and respond to the other.

Never on that first day of being welcomed into the Northern Guild could I have fully understood the feeling I had of finding my calling. Being a children and young people’s psychotherapist is a hard ongoing personal challenge and the rewards are life changing. Each child and young person I have met has impacted and shaped me. Heavenly window was the room I worked from until earlier this year when Covid meant we had to rethink our ways of working with children. So, there I was sat in front of a screen again, except this time a face looked back at me. Quite quickly we had everything in place that allowed us to be in the room with our clients again and my heart remembered what it was like to be with another when all communication is being channelled.

When I first joined the training team, I would sit there quietly soaking it all in. I was surprised by how much time was spent discussing the students experience, the team would spend the meetings reflecting on the student’s feedback and making decisions based on this. Now my weeks are filled with meetings which are focussed on ensuring we go above and beyond in equipping our students to work with clients. Recently I became Co-Chair of the Training Standards Committee within the UKCP Child College for Children and Young People where we are responsible for holding and ensuring all standards and policies are up to date. These documents range from Training Standards to CPD Policies, the role is crucial for me in that I get a voice in how we think about clients and it ensures that we are always up to date with the relevant guidance.

So here I am in the hot seat Chairing the Directors of Northern Guild, and part of me stills wonders how this happened. It has been a challenge to plan, steer, direct and keep the directors on the agenda in the allocated time, not because they are obstructive quite the opposite conversations are open and honest, but because it means I have had to take the lead. We psychotherapists like to be guided by our clients. The Chair is responsible for communication with the Chair of the Trustees, another responsible role and again I ask myself ‘how did I end up doing this?’  To hold this role I must own my own power.

That is a lot easier to do in other jobs roles but to own my power with those who have guided me, and whom I hold high regard for is quite a feat. It is so much easier to bypass our power, to give it to another, then if all goes wrong, we can claim, well I never really had the power to decide anyway so therefore I cannot be held fully accountable.  In gestalt therapy the hot seat is described as a technique which aims to generate new, more vivid awareness, which leads the client to finding his or her own solutions to problems or emotional difficulties. Being the chair of the directors is just like being in the hot seat, my awareness continues to develop as I make more meaning out of the role, own my power and take responsibility for decision making whilst trusting that those who once guided me are now alongside me. My final thought is a reminder to myself that what guided me to Northern Guild was an innate desire to support others and forge real connections and this is what I and the rest of the team continue to offer one another.